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Vapid Pop Fluff
Nov. 14th, 2006 02:46 pmBy now, unless you're significantly better at dodging the media than I am, you've heard that Britney Spears is divorcing that talentless stud-slut Kevin Federline (a.k.a. "K-Fed", and now a.k.a. "Fed-Ex"). She timed her announcement last Tuesday, when she wouldn't be the headline (smart!).
Well, it seems for all that Federline has no problem ditching the mothers of his children (note both plurals), he has some issue with being deprived of the children themselves. So when Britney dropped the bomb in time for their pre-nup to keep him from getting anything, Federline decided to unearth a tape that the couple made earlier in their relationship. Having sex (duh).
He is now saying that unless she grants him some custody rights, he's going to sell this four-hour sex tape.
Four hours?!
Here's how I see it: she's a professional dancer, he's a talentless hack. Britney should make it publicly known that if he sells the tape, he gets nothing, but otherwise take no legal actions to stop it. If he makes the mistake of releasing the tape, a bunch of lecherous people across the country will have footage of Britney in her physical prime, even as she is gradually adopting a more mature (but still sexy) stage-dancing pop-star image. Either the sex is fantastic (four hours?!), in which case she comes off looking great and he comes off looking like a major loser, or the sex is a grinding routine (four hours?!), in which case she comes off looking like a sympathetic victim and he comes off looking like a major loser.
Really, Britney's got nothing to lose here.
Well, it seems for all that Federline has no problem ditching the mothers of his children (note both plurals), he has some issue with being deprived of the children themselves. So when Britney dropped the bomb in time for their pre-nup to keep him from getting anything, Federline decided to unearth a tape that the couple made earlier in their relationship. Having sex (duh).
He is now saying that unless she grants him some custody rights, he's going to sell this four-hour sex tape.
Four hours?!
Here's how I see it: she's a professional dancer, he's a talentless hack. Britney should make it publicly known that if he sells the tape, he gets nothing, but otherwise take no legal actions to stop it. If he makes the mistake of releasing the tape, a bunch of lecherous people across the country will have footage of Britney in her physical prime, even as she is gradually adopting a more mature (but still sexy) stage-dancing pop-star image. Either the sex is fantastic (four hours?!), in which case she comes off looking great and he comes off looking like a major loser, or the sex is a grinding routine (four hours?!), in which case she comes off looking like a sympathetic victim and he comes off looking like a major loser.
Really, Britney's got nothing to lose here.
