In the grogginess of morning, Alyssa was making bologna sandwiches for her lunch (and for her sister's lunch), when I heard plaintive cries:

"Mom! The bologna bag is broken!"

?

I fumfer into the kitchen to examine the "broken" bag. "There's no zip-lock on it! It won't open!" Swirling shards of reality twisted in the sky, portending the end of the universe.

"It's not a zip-lock bag. It's vacuum sealed. It'll open; it just won't close again." I find a knife to cut it open, and do so.

"Did they have vacuum sealed bags when you were a kid, Daddy?"

"No. No, they didn't."

Now I feel really old.